To feel "scabulous" (*) means to be "proud of a scar on your body, which is an autograph signed to you by a world grateful for your continued willingness to play with her, even when you don’t feel like it."

She is proud of her broken clavicle, her broken nasal bone and her broken heart. She's been playing with the world unapologetically and she still does. She loves her scars. 

Do you love yours, too?

(*) John Koenig fills the emotional gaps of language. He is the König of the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows and the inventor of "scabulous". 

She doesn't like anything halfhearted or lukewarm. 

She aspires to be all in but unattached.

Fervor sounds similar to fever, doesn't it?

Living feverishly. With fervor. Intensely and passionately. In love with live, with all its joys and sorrows and all the beauty that lies in the shades between.

Are fervor and rigor connected somehow?

And if so, how? 

Tell her, if you know anything about that. 

In 2019 she went on a pilgrimage. She walked through rain and mud, deserted forests, dense undergrowth and ferns for days. She passed monasteries and tiny villages. She met wild boars, stray dogs and black scorpions. 

Sometimes she met people, too.

Mostly when she needed them.

Whenever she arrived at a creek that had burst it banks and she didn't know how to cross it. 

Whenever she felt so lonely that her ribcage was too tight for letting her cry. 

Serendipity?

Sometimes she didn't meet anyone when she would have needed someone.

Then she met herself.

Her demons.

Her shadows.

And eventually the light within.

Serendipity is known as the occurrence of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

Sometimes the absence of serendipity might be more beneficial than its occurrence.

But only sometimes.

What do you think?

Someone who feels an increased sense of bravery over texting, as opposed to in person. A textrovert might only say what they really feel over text messages.

Are you a textrovert?

She is.

Acquiring reading materials but letting them pile up in one's home without reading them.

Her piles are huge.

Yours?

"The word ‘delicious’ is just that - watery, sloshing, high to low to high, a wave", hummingbird H. once wrote to her.

She was delighted.

Are you, too?

"A person with an insatiable appetite for crossword puzzles", the urban dictionary says.

But no. No!

She thinks otherwise.

A wordaholic is a person with an insatiable appetite for delicious words.

She is an incurable one. Are you, too?

"I like inexplicable phenomena", A. once wrote to her. 

A. is a certified nerd. A scientist to his bones.

"Good scientific thinking also includes the recognition of the boundaries of science", he said. "If something cannot be described in scientific terms it does not necessarily mean that it doesn't exist."

She thinks, love is biology and chemistry and psychology and a lot of other things. Plus, it's an inexplicable phenomenon.

What is love to you?

Thank you, Portuguese, for saudade.

She thinks, saudade is more sweet than bitter. It is a deep longing, nostalgic and melancholic, for someone or something you will never have or have again.

Saudade shows you how much you care. How deeply you love.

Saudade looks back.

Do you look back sometimes and feel the sweetness of a longing that will never be satisfied?